Say What You Mean and Do What You Say

The majority of people want to do the right thing. Even though we succumb to temptation, most people regret that they didn't honor their most prized characteristic?being true to our higher self and integrity.Many of our behaviors are automatic and long ago established without our intentionally making the choice. We don't even realize we are not acting from our high selves. For example, a friend or business associate might ask you for some information.

You might give an answer like: "No problem, I'll look that up for you and let you know." The fly in the higher self moment comes to pass when we don't get back to them.Another example is we get a call from someone while we are on the phone talking with someone else. We say to the second party, "I am on the other line (true) I will call you back." However, we don't call them back, and the person has to call again, at which point we exclaim.

"Oh I was just thinking of calling you.".Sometimes we even justify our lack of honoring our high self by saying, "I forgot." However, the issue is not that you forgot, but rather that you did not follow through on what you said you would do. Saying one thing and doing it is a wonderful opportunity to build trust.

How else is another person going to know you can be trusted in other situations if you aren't trustworthy in the present situation?and a minor one at that?.Trust is important. Being trustworthy develops the inner moral fiber of one's being. It also is a quality that enables you to build an authentic relationship with another person.

If the other person does not know whether they can trust what you say, how can anything of substance be built between you and the other person? Of course, there are circumstances when you won't be able to follow through on your commitments. That circumstance can be easily and readily remedied?simply tell the person immediately that you are unable to follow through. Trust will begin to build even though you have disappointed them.In addition, we seldom hold other people accountable when they say one thing, but do something else or fail to follow through.

If we accept unaccountability as 'par for the course' we are tacitly telling the other person, their behavior is acceptable. The reason for failing to hold people accountable is fear of the repercussions?they might not like us or we worry we will be considered a 'hard nose' or 'perfectionist.' However, when we lack the courage to say what we believe or worry about the repercussions of speaking up, we become enablers to unacceptable behavior.There are consequences to saying one thing and doing another. Most importantly, it cuts into our ability to experience the truth. While we live this untruth, it limits our ability to expand our consciousness.

This leads to emptiness, sadness and depression which, in turn, can affect us physically?migraine headaches, hypertension, etc. In addition, we don't develop quality relationships with people. Rather, a relationship develops on false perceptions?I don't tell you the truth and you do not tell me the truth. An inauthentic agreement ensures an inauthentic relationship.Life and living is an inner-being expansion.

Moral development is key to our health and happiness. Saying What You Mean and Doing What You Say is easy to practice. As we practice, it becomes a habit. We then find that we can rise to the occasion and bring out our higher self in all situations.

We begin to notice that we are a person of our word and that we have the capacity to develop authentic, meaningful and rewarding relationships in all areas of our lives?significant other, marriage, work and friendships.

By: Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD